What if I just
by PhoebeGilmore
Summary: One shot Kyo's last day before he is confined. he is full of doubts. Warning: character death, don't like, don't read.


A/N another Fruits Basket story. I didn't even remember I wrote this, just came across it when I was checking my stories. And now it magically appeared on this site, a true miracle. I won't hold you up any longer. If you like it, please leave a review.

Disclaimer: sobs sadly I don't own Fruits Basket…

What if I just…

KYO'S POV

Today is the day before I graduate high school. And I haven't been able to defeat Yuki, meaning this also is my last day of freedom. The last day I get to walk outside, the last day I get to decide for myself what I do, the last day without Akito and the last day I get to be around Yuki. Maybe I should just…

I curse myself for not acting earlier, I guess I was afraid. But now I curse myself for it. This is my last day and I want to spend it with the person I love, but because I'm such a coward I can't. I hate it when Yuki is right, but he is. I really am an idiot. But what if I just…

I woke up really early today and went to the roof, I don't want to miss the sunrise this morning. How I wish I could spend my last sunrise with him. There still is one left after this one, there still is some hope. If I just…

Not yet my last breakfast cooked by Tohru, but it feels like it already is. No one knows that I will be confined tomorrow, and maybe it is better this way. Yuki stumbles into the kitchen still asleep. What if I just…

Exams are over and I really don't know what the use is of going to school today. It's just filled with games and people talking about their plans for the future. I don't have any, I don't have a future. It's all because of him that I don't have a future. If only he was weaker, if only I were stronger, than this wouldn't be my last day. And still I don't hate him for it. If I had just…

It's like this day is filled with doubt. I question every move I ever made, maybe I made a mistake, maybe there was a way out of this. But I already know that there wasn't. I'm just not ready to give up all hope. What if I had just…

Yuki is being crowded by his fan girls more than ever. I know how much he hates it, almost as much as I hate not being one of them. Though I would be a fan boy, not a girl. On this last day I would give everything to be one of them. Maybe I should just…

On the way home I'm even more quiet than usual. Tohru chats away about her plans after graduation. I'm not even listening anymore, it's too depressing. I fall a bit behind and get a chance to watch Yuki all the way home. I can only see his back, and sometime a bit of his face as he turns to Tohru, but it's good enough for me. At least I get to see him on the last day. Perhaps I should just…

Yuki goes upstairs, he probably has some stuff to do before graduation. Tohru enters the kitchen, she's going to make dinner, my last dinner made by her. And what can I do now? I can pack my stuff. But that will make everything so real. I can help Tohru, though from the smell of it she's making something with leeks. I'll pass. Then I'll just…

Yes, I'll tell Yuki. It's my last day so it can't really go wrong. At least I think it can't. Maybe it's better not to say a thing, it could completely ruin this day. But if I don't say anything I'll spend the rest of my life wondering what he would've said. Though if he refuses I'll probably spend the rest of my life wishing I hadn't said a thing. I just have to risk it. I'll jump into the unknown. I'll just do it.

And now I stand in front of his room. What should I do now? What should I say? How should I begin. Suddenly I wonder if I should just give up.

"Who's there?" Yuki's voice sounds from his room. Too late now.

"It's me, Kyo. Can I come in?" What?! Please say no, please say no! Why did I say that? Please say no!

"Sure, why not. Just don't break anything." NO! Why did I just say that, I could've run away.

So I enter his room. Guess I won't have to wonder for the rest of my life what he would've said. And now I'm in his room, what can I say? "Do you have a reason to be here, or are you just coming here to annoy me?" Shit, talk you stupid cat, talk!

"There's something I wanted to talk about. Could you come to the roof after dinner?" Good thinking, now I have at least some time to think what I should say.

"And why can't we talk now? We're both here and we both have the ability to speak."

"Boys, dinner's ready!" Tohru screams from downstairs, saved by the bell, or Tohru.

"I guess that's the reason we can't talk now."

And so my last dinner began. It had leeks in it but I didn't complain. Tonight even leeks tasted good. Yuki noticed I wasn't complaining but didn't say a thing. I'm very thankful for that.

So after dinner I made my way up the roof. I was watching the sunset, my last sunset, as Yuki came.

"Must be something serious you want to talk about. You didn't even complain about those leeks."

"Yeah, thanks for not saying anything about that. I wanted to talk about tomorrow."

"What about that? Tomorrow is graduation."

"After graduation, I'm not coming back."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to be confined." Yuki stared at me in shock. "I've known for years that this day would come. There's nothing we can do about it now. Not anymore."

"How do you mean not anymore?"

"I made a deal with Akito that if I could beat you I was free."

"Then I'll let you win."

"That won't count."

"You should've told me, I could've…"

"No, I couldn't tell you."

"I'm sorry. But at least now I know why you hate me."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you, I don't hate you." Yuki had a confused look on his face, just like the look Tohru had most of the time. "I don't know how or why, but I just don't. I fell in love with you some time ago."

"But… You… I… What?!" I turned to look at the sun again, the last beams of light were disappearing.

"That was a beautiful sunset. I'm glad I saw it." Yuki was still sitting in shock. "It's a shame it was my last. I don't know if you ever saw that place but it only has one window. You can't really see anything that happens outside. There're bars for that window. But I'll get used to that pretty soon."

"Kyo…" Yuki finally managed to say something.

"What is it?" Yuki doesn't answer but embraces me.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm so sorry." I let myself relax into the embrace after a while I notice I was even letting myself cry. But I don't care anymore. I'm in Yuki's arms, that's all that matters.

YUKI'S POV

I still can't believe I'll never see Kyo again. I decided to stay here for college, even though I can't see him that doesn't mean I can't be near him. I need to see him though, I want to see him. Maybe I should talk to Akito. Just the thought of him makes me shiver, but for Kyo I'd do just about anything.

So that afternoon I was sitting in Akito's room. "Yuki, how nice to see you again. How have you been?" Akito said in his polite voice. He always uses that tone when he knows you're up to something.

"I've been good, thank you. How about you." I say in my own polite tone. We both know that this politeness is nothing more than an act.

"Good, thank you for asking." I need to get to the point before Akito loses his patience.

"There is one thing that has been bothering me for some time however."

"What is it, my precious rat?" those words hurt more than you can imagine. I can't give up however.

"It's about Kyo, I've been wondering where he is. I haven't seen him in some time."

"That monster has been caged, don't worry about him."

"Is there any way that I could see him?"

"Why would you want to do that."

"I've seen him every day for years, it's weird not seeing him anymore." At that moment Kureno enters the room. He whispers something to Akito I can't hear.

"I see. You may go Kureno." Akito turned to me again. "So you really want to see that monster again?"

"Yes, if that's okay with you, Akito-sama."

"I wouldn't deny my precious rat that. You can go now if you want."

"Thank you Akito-sama." This was too easy, what is Akito up to? But I guess I can't let this chance go. I have to see him again. I walk down the road leading to the place Kyo is held.

I knock on the door. "Kyo?" I don't hear him answer, but maybe he's just asleep. I enter the room. It's dark and takes some time for my eyes to get used to the darkness. Slowly I can see some outlines.

No, it can't be. "Kyo!" This just can't be. That can't be Kyo. I let myself fall down next to him. "no, no, no, no, no, no please Kyo." This can't be Kyo lying in his own blood, his wrists cut, his eyes staring blank into nothingness. "No Kyo, please don't be dead, please Kyo." I check his neck for a pulse, but I don't feel it. He has already started turning cold. "No, no, no, no. Please Kyo." I fall down next to his lifeless body sobbing.


End file.
